Wow time flies in the summer... I've been back from Vancouver for a bit but was struggling with the diet more than I did with the other two rounds so I've been VERY frustrated..... I even got to the point where I decided to throw in the towel for the summer and start again in the fall..... For the record I stuck to the plan perfectly in Vancouver... the problems started when I got home....

I began house sitting a week ago and they have Soooo much awesome food in there house... I was struggling with hunger and just simply lost all self control for a few days.... I quit hcg and decided to wait till the fall to start again but after four days the novelty of all that good food wore off & I decided to get back on plan. Considering some are taking a short break after 23 days I figured I was safe to go back on.... this is my second day back on and feeling really motivated and have had no problems sticking to the protocol so I'm not sure what was going on... I had thought maybe I was hitting immunity but so far the hcg is kicking in... I can always tell when its working... Anyhooo I'm back and have a good attitude... hope the scale is good to me in the morning...

R3 D10: -.8
R3 Loss: -9.6
Total Loss: 64.4

Made sure I drank over 3 liters yesterday and was happy with the scale this morning.

Have to pack and get ready for my trip to Vancouver today. I'm going to bring a suitcase containing all my food, my scale, George Foreman Grill and hcg... I'm determined to stick to my regime but don't want to hibernate for the summer either so this is how it'll have to be!

My friend in Vancouver will be without a car while I'm there so we'll be walking everywhere... hope I don't overdue it!

“To be prepared is half the victory.”

Stayed the same this morning... I used to freak at that especially this early in the Round but now I've learned to just do what I'm supposed to and trust the process. It was a busy day and I'm tired, tired, tired...

will chat more tomorrow!

R3 D5: -1

Feels good to be on the plan dropping again! I'm running out of clothes though and happened to visit a friend who lost 130 pounds last year... (not with hcg) she had some size 15 jeans and skirts to give me so that was great. Should hold me over for the next few weeks till I need the 12's!! Can't wait. I'm just making due with no capris & only one pair of work pants.

Its looking like I should be able to do my vacation at the end of August under 160 pounds which has been my goal for a long time.... very excited!! So far no major hungry days which is a nice switch cause I'm usually more hungry the first week or so.

Working on my water drinking today.... haven't quite gotten a liter down and my goal is 3... must get on that!

"Take charge of your mind and begin to fill it with
healthy, positive, and courageous thoughts."

R2 LIW: 185.4

R3 D4 VLCD: 177.6

Total Loss: 62.6

Hey everyone, I'm back from holidays and excited to start dropping again.

First of all, I had a great hike despite lots of rain... my group was made up of old friends so it was great to touch base and we had no winers about the rain. Felt great to be challenging my body like that again.... I WILL BE HIKING EVERY SUMMER FROM NOW ON!!!!! The scenery was breathtaking and it really recharges my batteries to sit and soak in nature around me.

I was pms'ing and eating badly before leaving on my hike.... had gained over 5 pounds (I was retaining lots of water) so I just couldn't face the scale before I started loading... in fact I was on day 3 of VLCD before I braved the scale and it said 178.0... (yesterday) I was elated since that is 7 pounds lighter than R2 LIW. Playing around with the idea of only weighing in every second day this time around.. we'll see.

It just feels good to be on the program again despite a crazy busy schedule this summer. I'm home till Sunday then fly to Vancouver to see friends for a few days. It will be a challenge sticking to the diet but my friends are extremely health conscious and are supportive of my weight loss so I think they'll understand me cooking everything and not wanting to eat out. Well, must get ready for work...

TTFN

Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves. ~John Muir

pms'ing really bad the past few days and eating way too much stuff I shouldn't so I'm glad I'm headed on the hike where I'll be far, far away from bad food! Yippeee!!! Drive to the park for my hike today. It turns out the trail we planned to do is undergoing bridge constructions so we had to make alternate plans... the new plan is for a four day hike on Mt Robson. I've done it before and its absolutely beautiful so I'm not too disappointed. Actually a little relieved right now cause my stinking period hasn't come yet (probably will come today) which means I'll have it for the entire hike and I'd rather have it on Mt Robson than in major grizzley country on the Brazeau Loop.

Plan to do my load days for Round 3 the day after we finish the hike... I'm anxious to get losing again!

Got home from my convention last night... very busy, fun weekend! Got invited out for supper on Saturday night and of course supper was pizza, wings, and white chocolate!! I had thought this might happen so had brought a vegi platter for appetizers but decided to cave and ended up eating some of everything. (I day early from entering P4) I had forgotten my scale so weighed on my friends scale the first morning just so I could judge if I gained... sure enough Sunday morning showed a gain of over 2 pounds... I decided to do a steak day and it wasn't hard cause I was busy all day and then went out for a nice steak dinner with friends in the evening. I was curious to see what MY scale would say this morning and it was -1.8 from LIW!! Very happy... I probably didn't need to do the steak day... I thought the scale would read quite a bit higher.... I guess this stabilization thing works!

Now officially on P4 and crazy busy preparing for my hike... the food will be high carb cause carbs tend to weigh less in my pack and considering the calories we'll be burning we'll need the carbs... soon as I'm home I'll be back on P2... can't wait..

P.S. wore my killer heels on the weekend and although they really hurt my feet by the end of the day it was worth it... I love those heels!!

My weight has really stabilized! Its settling in around -.2 to -.4 from LIW.... Last week I went shopping with a friend looking for some clothes for this weekend's convention. I plan to keep losing so don't want to buy much but thought I should reward myself for my hard work and wear something that fits! The sales lady made a comment about me being slim.... I just stared at her and she was wondering if she'd offended me... I had to explain that it had been awhile since I'd heard THAT comment! Of course in my head and in reality I'm not slim yet, just less fat... but I'm feeling a lot more confident these days so that's nice.

On my way to my hair appointment today I had to walk by an ice cream store... it hit me how I didn't even have the smalles inkling to go in.... wow how times have changed!

Still walking every morning at 5am to train for my upcoming hike and then trying to roller blade or do something else in the evening... I'm feeling so much energy these days its truly amazing!!

Weight from LIW: -1.6

Was out of town yesterday and went for lunch with a friend. She recommended the chicken salad so I ordered it... turned out to have mayo in it but not a large portion so I didn't fret... also went out for supper and decided to have an appetizer... shrimp with lots of oil and some cheese but I made sure my main course was a 5 oz steak with only steamed vegis. I also hiked at 5am and went roller blading in the evening so I was happy to see the scale went down .2 this morning.

My body's metabolism seems to have leveled out now... I'm never hungry and the scale likes me every morning! Life is good!

applebottomblues: missed you! Great to hear from you.... yes I plan to wear what I call my 50 pound reward heels and walk past him a few times!! HA!!

Have a good weekend everyone!

Stayed totally off cheese & nuts yesterday, went for two walks and drank lots... result was that I'm now .8 below LIW.... very happy!

I'm sure it was water retention but was up exactly 2 pounds yesterday so did a steak day.... I figure whats the point of being on a plan if you don't follow it!! This morning I dropped exactly 2 pounds so we'll see what tomorrow brings. I got up and did my 5 am hike, now I'm off for my leisurely evening stroll.... I figure we have so little summer up here in the north pole that I really need to get outside and enjoy the weather before the snow flies again!

Feel I've eaten really well so hope the scale reflects that tomorrow....

TTFN

I'm glad to report that I'm back, my mom is fine and I didn't have to do any steak days while I was away!! I was pretty conscientious about following protocol..

Everyone stayed at my sister's place and it happened to be her convention time... her company was wall to wall people not including the RV's parked outside... crazy time... lots of food and I was a good girl!! Drove home today so I hope I'm not retaining too much water when I weigh in tomorrow morning.

Now I have to get back to training mode..... must get in shape!!

Today's loss: 2 pounds
+.6 from LIW

Steak day worked!!

I received a call from my mom last night and she is being booked for urgent surgery tomorrow so I am throwing some things in a bag and driving 5 hours so I can be there..... Yes, I'm packing my scale and I think I have a good game plan... I'll probably check in over the next few days as I'll be staying at my sisters and want to be accountable for my behavior... so knowing I have to report to you all is a good motivation!!

chow for now

+2.6 from LIW

Here we go... a steak day.... I thought I ate soooo good yesterday, just ate a chicken salad for supper and then only drank water & herb tea after that... but in retrospect I had melba tst and some cheese... I think I jumped the gun on those foods so supposing my steak day works I will have to swear off the dairy and melba for awhile longer. (yes, I know melba is a starch but thoght I'd try it!) If your reading this Terry, (Montana girl) your blog is keeping me inspired that I WILL stabilize!!!

I have also decided to track what I'm eating with WW points for a few days... sometimes a person is eating more than they realize.... then there's the exercise thing... I'm working out pretty hard trying to get ready for my hike and my muscles are sore... read somewhere that means your body is holding onto water... I'm greatful that I'm feeling quite determined and confident that I'll get this under control. I am 100% sure I'll succeed which is a nice feeling.

Thanks for the words of encouragement Michelle, it really helps!!

If my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it, I know I can achieve it.

+1.8 from LIW.... YIKES!!!

Too close for comfort.. I do NOT want to do a steak day... too busy working out! I don't think I ate enough during the day yesterday so I was hungry last night... I had a few more handfulls of nuts then I should have and then experimented with coconut oil, stevia, vanilla & coacoa... it didn't taste right so I ended up going to the store and buying a sugar free chocolate bar..... won't do that again... didn't taste good anyway!

Today I'm trying to eat a little more during the day and hopefully lighten up on my calories tonight... I know I should wait till my weight stabilizes a little more but I just had 180 calories worth of cheese.... it was delish!! Hope I don't go over +2 tomorrow!!!!

What I've eaten today:

Health shake
chef salad with one egg & 80 grams of chicken, olive oil, squeezed lemon,
ground turkey breast soup
very small handfull of nuts
180 calories of cheese
3 melba tst (not sure I should eat the melba??)

Persistent people begin their success where others end in failure.-Edward Eggleston

+1.2 from LIW

Ate really good all day yesterday but my weight went up a little. I think my body is just trying to settle into the extra food I'm feeding it. As long as I'm exercising and eating right I won't fret... if it comes to doing a steak day so be it.

I've been enjoying mixing my vegis and having the odd small hand full of nuts. I'm going to wait till my weight stabilizes a little better before I introduce dairy. I have some cottage cheese waiting for me in the fridge!

So far today I've had:

Health shake with frozen blueberries, strawberries, rice protein powder, greens powder and salba seeds (good source of omega 3's)

Apple with a small handful of organic nuts
ground turkey breast soup with tomatoes, celery and onions

Hopefully the scale likes me tomorrow..... I've been exercising quite a bit too so my muscles could be holding onto a little water. My Jillian Michaels '30 day Shred' video came today so maybe I'll try it out tomorrow after my 5am power hike.

Movement is a medicine for creating change in a person's physical, emotional, and mental states. ~Carol Welch

+.8 from LIW

I went roller blading for over an hour last night and then drank a lot before bed. Didn't get up to pee in the night so I wasn't surprised that I gained... pretty sure its water. Starting some power walking today and now I'm off to make an omllet with green onion and peppers in it... looking forward to it! Since I couldn't face my measurements before starting round one I only have my measurements showing progress through round two.... here they are:

Thigh: 3.5 inches
Waiste: 5 inches
Bust: 4 inches
Hips: 5.25 inches
Calf: 1.5 inches

Interesting.... Dusty Rose mentioned that she lost more on her lower body than her bust... I ALWAYS lose more on my bust when dieting.... this time I lost more on my hips!! Yippeee!!

“The person determined to achieve maximum success learns the principle that progress is made one step at a time. A house is built one brick at a time. Football games are won a play at a time. A department store grows bigger one customer at a time. Every big accomplishment is a series of little accomplishments.” -David Joseph Schwartz

Today's Loss: 0
R2 Total Loss: -30.4
Total Loss: 54.8

Starting weight: 240.2
Now: 185.4

Starting sizes: bottom: 22 top: 20
Now: bottom: 16 top: 14

I'll give you my R2 measurements tomorrow.

Well.... I stayed the same today... not happy! I was hoping to get to 55 pounds for my LIW but it wasn't to be. Since I didn't lose anything today I've decided not to inject... no point! Yesterday will be my LIW. I will follow VLCD till Sunday, then I will start P3 trying to stabilize my weight.

Now I have to change gears and really rev up the exercise. I've ordered the Shred video by Jillian Michaels and will by trying to exercise twice a day. One harder session and one fun session like roller blading or something. Have to prepare my poor soft muscles for the job ahead of them... one month till hiking day!!

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

Today's Loss: -.6
R2 Total: -30.4

I was so convinced I'd lose a pound a day for a few days before my LIW... I can be glad I haven't stalled I guess. After mentioning my jean situation yesterday, I went into my closet and pulled out the size 16's... they all fit! Some are almost loose. Tomorrow's the big day.... I'm just hoping for another .6 at this point.

I'm surprised this time. I thought I'd be soooo ready to get off P2 but I really don't mind it. I like not having to think about what I'm going to eat. I'll have to plan my meals more while on P3.

Have a good day!

It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.”

Today's Loss: -.6
R2 Total: -29.8

Count down is on.... two more weigh ins till LIW so I'll have lost over 30 pounds this round. For those who read my 'jeans' story way back in April... they are now way too big! I can still wear them for yard work but I just look like one of those teenagers with the major baggy pants. (crap catchers) so I'll be retiring them soon. I'm down to two pairs of 80's style jeans but don't really want to do much shopping till I'm at my goal.

I'm starting to get into P3 mode thinking about my training program for my hike and what I'm going to cook... I'm going to miss seeing the scale go down so much every day but will enjoy building some muscle. I always feel so good when I'm exercising.

Accept challenges, so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory. -George S. Patton

Today's Loss: -.4
R2 Total: -29.2

I'm truly disappointed this morning, I was so sure I'd see a bigger loss, especially since I was such a good girl while my roomie was baking last night... I guess I'll take what I can get....

Sometimes I think my Japanese room mate is trying to torture me. Last week she made my favorite flavour of pie (rhubarb) Last night I was sitting there finishing my organic apple, not hungry at all, minding my own business and then this smell started permeating through the entire house... she made a chocolate cake... of all things.. CHOCOLATE CAKE.. being a self proclaimed chocoholic the smell was pure torture!!! I suddenly felt hungry! I just kept telling myself that I only have four more weigh ins till my LIW... I was NOT going to cave so I drank another huge glass of water.... I won't say it made me feel better, but there was something in my stomach anyway! I've heard that when you see or smell certain foods, your body will respond releasing the appropriate hormones, insulin etc... getting your body ready to eat.. slows your metabolism down.. maybe that's what happened????

Women who don't eat breakfast are four and a half times more likely to be obese than women who do. - Jillian Michaels, Master Your Metabolism

Two Days Loss: -.6
R2 Total: -28.8

Went out of town Saturday night but brought my scale with me. Stayed in my sister's RV but I think the floor had some give cause it said I'd lost almost two pounds... thankfully I didn't have my hopes up since I'm right in the middle of my period. Came home and as of this morning I have only lost .6 in two days... things should pick up tomorrow. (I hope!)

More camp fires, more junk food flowing. They even cooked bacon on the grate over the fire... smelled wonderful but I had absolutely no problems staying away from the junk. Yay! Four more injections, seven more days (including today) of VLCD. I'm determined to be smarter on P3 this time around... introduce calories and other foods more slowly. I allowed myself a few carbs too soon on P3 and was +3 from LIW when I started R2... not this time... every ounce counts when your lugging a pack up a mountain!

“I've learned that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.”

Today's Loss: -.4

R2 Total: -28.2

Very happy I woke up to my period today.. and still lost! I get a little nervous every time TOM comes a little late cause I timed my hike so I wouldn't have it... every time its late it gets a little closer to my hiking date.... Just one more period till then and I think I have a few days leeway next month.. one more thing I don't have to worry about.

I decided to fill all my syringes today so I know exactly how many more days I'll be on P2. It should work out well cause I have 5 left which means if I skip today (my regular skip day) and tomorrow cause of my period, my LIW will come on Friday which should give me 4 days of bigger losses before I stop. Then I'll be hitting major workout mode trying to get in shape for the mountains.... Wow, in just over a month I'll be walking through the majestic rockies meditating on how thankful I am for hcg and being able to hike again!

One last thought... when your fat, your invisible... not just with men, but people in general don't notice you.... Although I've been suspicious the past little while that I've had the odd glance from the odd man... this week I had two guys obviously check me out... it was almost a little unnerving. Then my negative thinking gets in the way... one occasion I was driving and the first thing through my mind was 'oh ya, but he doesn't see my bottom half!' So instead of smiling and saying to myself 'Damn your good', I automatically put myself down... must work on that! I also seem to be getting more social invites which is nice but kind of annoying at the same time... I think, what... wasn't I good enough before??? Of course that may not be entirely about my appearance either... maybe I'm a more positive person since I've been losing weight so people feel more inclined to hang out with me.... anyway just wanted to put that out there... been on my mind for awhile...

There are two ways of meeting difficulties. You alter the difficulties or you alter yourself to meet them. Phyllis Bottome

Today's Loss: -.8

R2 Total: -27.8

Been a crazy day, but wanted to post my loss....  see tomorrow!

Today's loss: -.6
R2 Total: -27

My body seems to be happy with .6's these days... wish TOM would come!!! Here is a photo of my 50 pound present to myself! I love shoes.... I went to the shoe store determined to get something I wanted... not something I needed... I saw these and we fell in love... aren't they purrrdy???

* I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him alot. Marilyn Monroe

Today's loss: -.6
R2 Total: -26.4

Hit the 180's today! 189.4... good bye 90's... can't say I'll miss you!

Thanks so much Brooke for suggesting I reward myself for reaching that milestone... hadn't thought to do that! It was a bit of a quandry since so many rewards are illegal on P2 like massage, manicure, food... I had decided to go get roller blades, then someone suggested on the hcg forum that I buy some shoes... I LOVE shoes! I'm thinking about getting some nice spikey heels... maybe I'll get both the roller blades & the shoes... I'm working on thinking that I'm worth it!!

I also put on more makeup than I really should on P2, curled my hair perty & visited a couple of offices I used to work at.. one office is awesome with people I love.. the other office... well lets just say they aren't the nicest people except for one friend I made while I worked there. Both visits were a fun reward for totally different reasons.. The first was great with everyone telling me how awesome I look (yes, I soaked it up!) The second, I felt a vindication to go back almost a year after leaving knowing how much better I look . Leaving such a stressful work environment was one of the reasons I felt ready to take this weight off... not only did I put weight on working there, but I just couldn't concentrate on myself cause I was so consumed with work. I have to admit my heart was racing as I climbed the stairs to the bad office... it was shocking how all those horrible feelings came racing back to me and I realized how greatful I am that I left such a negative place.

When I got home I did something I haven't done in months... I went straight to the fridge and opened it to look in... I couldn't believe I did it! My knee jerk reaction to a stressful situation... no I didn't eat anything but it sure drove home the point of how many things we do on an emotional level that we don't even notice unless of course you on hcg and can't eat through your feelings.

By seeking out vegetables of varying colors (BEST CHOICE: tomatoes), you'll automatically get a range of phytonutrients, each of which has its own particular health promoting strengths. These colorful plant foods also happen to be incredible sources of soluble and insoluble fiber - both essential for hormone balance and impossible to get from animal products. - Master Your Metabolism, Jillian Michaels

Today's loss: -.6
R2 Total: -25.8
Total Loss: 50.2!!!!

Wow, I'm so happy!!!! I'm now exactly at 190.0 and officially at my hiking goal. Life is good, I just wish I would have listened to my sister Lana sooner and started hcg last year..... but hey, I'm on my way. Next stop is the 180's.... yipppeee!

My friend Mandy called to go for a walk and it was such a sunny day I thought it was a great idea... she knows I'm still on P2 so she tried not to go too hard on my so that was nice. She lives in a the middle of a huge hill & I did have to push it a little bit. Man, did I ever get tired last night.... had to take a nap around 6:30pm, must have been the walk. I'm sooo looking forward to P3 where I'll have the energy to start training for my hike. I love exercise & love pushing myself so we'll see what kind of shape I can get in within 4 weeks. (from the time I end P2 till my hike)

Down to around 13 days left on P2 depending on when I get my period. I always lose bigger numbers for about 5 days after TOM says good bye so I'm hoping to stretch things out a bit & stay on hcg till the 'pound a day' numbers stop. If my period comes on schedule that is.


Left my book on my bus so will have to stick with inspirational quotes this morning.

Life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.- John Maxwell

Today's loss: -.4
R2 Total: -25.2

Yesterday I realized that I could probably squeeze back into my super duper sucker shorts.... these things REALLY suck me in but would have cut the circulation off at my thighs if I tried them on any earlier.... yes, I was able to squirm into them and wear them to my Sunday meeting. Instead of trying to cover myself up with a blazer as usual, I decided to just wear a top with my skirt.... first time in YEARS that has happened.... I received a lot of comments on my weight loss so that was nice... I love those shorts!

Also had that hcg sudden burst of energy (or it could be that sudden burst of energy I get just before my period???) and I attacked my bedroom with a vengeance. I kept thinking of the Biggest Loser and how it showed Tara's feelings about herself reflected in her bedroom. I'm wondering if this is a sign I'm liking myself more these days??? hmmmm something to ponder.

I'm looking after a friend's house right now & they stock the house with the most amazing food!! I have chosen not to stay there just in case I have a weak moment. I can't help myself from going in the fridge and freezer just to look at the cheese, wine, sausage, pop and many, many other yummy snacks full of chemicals I can't pronounce let alone spell.... those were the days!! (I think I've said that before????)

Lisa: Stick to your guns on maintenance.... you can do it!!!!

I thought this was good advise for Phase 4... those lovely starches:

Aim for less than two servings of starchy vegetables a day. If you're going to have them, try interesting types like parsnips, a proven cancer fighter, or beets, full of folate to help lower levels of heart-attack-inducing homocysteine in the blood. I'm also a fan of sweet potatoes, packed with free radical-fighting beta-carotene and vitamine C. Anything but the usual suspects of corn, peas, and potatoes - God knows you don't need more corn!-Jillian Michaels, Master your Metabolism

Today's loss: -.2
R2 Total: -24.8

I guess I'll just have to get used to the miniscule losses till TOM comes & goes. Which means I can't have any expectations for at least a week or so arrrhhhhgggg!! My yard is waiting for me to give it some TLC so since I don't have anything too exciting to say I'll end with a quote from Jillian's book:

After age 20, basal metabolic rate drops about 2% per decade; after 40, it slows down 5% per decade.- Master Your Metabolism, Jillian Michaels

Today's loss: -.6
R2 Total: -24.6

Some friends were camping close to town last night so I went out to sit around the fire.... if course with a fire comes hot dogs, marshmellows, tacos and salsa.... it all smelled sooooo good... glad I was in a strong mood cause I absolutely knew I wouldn't cave... I'm patting myself on the back!!

One pound to the big 50.. can't wait!

"The U.S. production of high-fructose corn syrup (HFCS) went from 3,000 tons in 1967 to 9,227,000 tons in 2005. Production has increased 350% since 1980 alone. While our average consumption of refined sugar has slowly dwindled in the past forty years, our consumption of HFCS has shot up almost twenty fold. Tufts University researchers reported that Americans consume more calories from HFCS than from any other source"- Master Your Metabolism

I forgot to add this to today's post:

40lbs40days & ibanezfam: Thanks so much for the comments! By the way, I'm a photographer (promature) so I know all the little tricks to make me look thinner... I'm also a bottom heavy gal & my top doesn't look half bad these days! Great to hear from you!

Today's loss: -.2
R2 Total: -24

I shouldn't see TOM till next week but considering I was feeling sorry for myself and emotional all morning along with the fact that I seem to be drinking more than peeing.... PMS has begun! Bring it on... I promise myself that I will not worry about what the scale says till after my period...

People who report job stress have a 73% higher chance of developing obesity and a 61% higher chance of developing abdominal fat than people who report none.-Master Your Metabolism

Today's loss: -.8
R2 Total: -23.8


Yesterday after my shower I realized there were no huge bath sheets for towels in the closet so I had to settle for a regular towel (still large but not HUGE!!) anyhow.. after wrapping it around myself I realized that it covered my entire body... wow... pre hcg there was no way I could leave the bathroom with that little thing trying to squeezed around my body, there was always a huge V at the bottom revealing who knows what.... felt good to have that towel on!

I also finally took a photo of myself so you all could see who you are reading about... I'm getting over my online shyness these days. My face looked so much thinner.. that felt good too! Keep in mind I'm still on P2, therefore, I don't have makeup on...

I did go buy Jillian Michaels new book 'Master Your Metabolism'.... so far I'm just LOVING IT!! Although I'm sure she wouldn't agree with the hcg diet, there is so much information about all the horrible chemicals, stress & lack of sleep that have an adverse affect on all our hormones.... like gaining weight..... she went from eating 1200 calories a day, drinking 6 diet coke a day, and working out like a mad woman to eating 1800 calories a day and working out a lot less... and still maintaining her awesome body! I'm going to substitute my inspirational quotes for interesting little facts that she writes along the margins... I found them very interesting, thought you might too.

For each can of diet soft drink consumed each day, a person's risk of obesity goes up 41 percent.

Today's loss: -1
R2 Total: -23
Total Loss: 47.4

I was surprised with today's loss, I thought I might have had too much salt yesterday.... I'll take it! TOM will be here in a week so I'm happy for the bigger losses right now.

When I was at the cabin, my sister brought out the new Jillian Michaels book. I was able to read the first fifty pages or so.... I loved it! Its all about hormones and how our diet & environment affects them and when your hormones are out of whack, they encourage weight gain... lots about your thyroid and estrogen... I've already been trying to eat a lot more organic and stay away from as much plastic as possible so it was very interesting to read. I'm hoping to go find it today at a book store so I can come up with a good long term plan to be as healthy as possible once I start maintenance and I've rid myself of this 'snow suit' sitting on my body!

Have a good one people!

Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be - George Sheehan

Today's loss: -.4
Loss over the long weekend: -3.8
R2 Total: -22
Total Loss: 46.4

Over half way to my current goal and things are looking good!

My weekend was wonderful! Sooooo relaxing.... the weather wasn't ideal with only one nice day but on the days it was cold and rainy I curled up by the stove and read a book, had a nap and played cards with my nieces. I think all the relaxing and sleeping paid off cause I lost 1.8 pounds yesterday!! Never happens to me so I was thankful for that.

I had absolutely no problems sticking to 'the plan'... my mom is currently on P2 and is struggling a little so I think she enjoyed having some moral support while we watched my dad cook bacon, eggs and pancakes for breakfast over the fire.

I hadn't seen my two cousins since they have lost over 70 pounds each on hcg... wow they look wonderful!! I was nice to see where I'm headed and how it truly is possible!!!

By the way.... I only saw one small grizzly bear so didn't feel too sorry for myself for not having my camera...

When you say "I can", and expect success, you fill yourself with confidence and happiness.

Well the scale started down again... -1.2 this morning... hopefully by next week I'll be back to where I started and down again...

My car is packed, including George F. who has become my best friend these days. I was pre-cooking my food till I discovered how fast George could cook my meat... I love George.. Looking forward to a relaxing weekend of reading, fishing, walking, and visiting.... I may have to watch a movie if the weather turns bad... yeee hawwww I feel the need to get some R&R. A little bummed that I sent my camera away for servicing the beginning of April and its still not back.... I usually see lots of bears on my drive (7.5 hours) so it'll be a bummer that I can't stop and take pictures....

Happy losing everyone... chat with ya next week!!

I drank a lot yesterday but didn't have to get up in the night to use the bathroom so I wasn't shocked that I gained another .8 even though I stuck to my plan perfectly... I'm sure its just water and I understand that I'm paying the consequences for my bad behaviour.... I know it'll probably take 4 days to get back to where I started.... I'm hoping its no more than four days....

I'm leaving early for my long weekend. I'll be taking off tomorrow morning and won't be near the internet until Monday night. My mom is on hcg right now so it shouldn't be too hard to be a good girl. After my 'cheat day' I have absolutely no thoughts of straying this weekend. Getting to 190 this round is not an option..... I have to get there in order to do my hike so its nose to the grind stone time!

Was good to watch the Biggest Loser last night.... very motivating! Everyone looked so awesome...

“Anytime you suffer a setback or disappointment, put your head down and plow ahead.”

I've had a very busy couple of days so thought I'd write a quick note and let you know I fell off the wagon for one day. I had exercised quite a bit the night before (Sunday night) and I think I overdid it. On top of it I had forgotten that I had an out of town field trip scheduled for Monday. When I realized on Monday morning that I had to leave town, I quickly packed a good and legal lunch.. very proud of myself. I was in a bus filled with grade seven students and realized I couldn't use the bathroom for at least two hours so I didn't drink a drop... mistake #2...

So after I dropped the kids off at their camp I headed back to town... then it hit me... wasn't exactly hunger.... just an incredible yearning.... so yes I caved.... once I ate one thing that I shouldn't... I just couldn't stop! It was horrible....

This morning I gained 2 pounds... I've been an angel ever since and no intentions of cheating again...

I can't say I'm feeling any guilt... this may sound weird but I just feel OK thats over... moving on.. I'm not going to stress about it.. we'll see what tomorrow brings... I feel that I'd just be wasting my energy beating myself up about it... I need to build myself up to convince myself I can do this.. not tear myself down!! So thats how I'm going to view this situation....

I promised myself that if I write this blog I had to write and admit everything.... so there it is... we'll see what tomorrow brings.

R2 D26: -.2
R2 Total: -20.4

Water: 2 ltr

I'll take the point two... the scale was acting funny again and I didn't drink as much as I should have so we'll see what happens when I have to weigh at 5:30 tomorrow (the scale read more at 5:30 again this morning)

I'm working all day today and I'm not sure I'll be by a bathroom much so my water will be a challenge.... I promise to getter done though!

I was out with a friend last night and when I got home I looked at my license plate and realized that my insurance expired two days ago!! oooops!! Not a problem... good excuse for me to bike to work for the next two days!

TTFN

It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not. ~Author Unknown

R2 D26: -1
R2 Total: -20.2

Water: 3.25 ltr

My scale is so strange. I woke up at 5:30am and had to go to the bathroom. While I was up I decided to weigh myself... only down .2 from yesterday... it was a little depressing. I went back to bed cause its Saturday and slept a little more. After I woke up I did a little house work and didn't get around to drinking anything so by 8:30 when I decided to have my shower I figured I would try weighing again.... now I'm down a whole pound! Don't know how it happened, but I'll take it... of course the scale may not be so kind tomorrow but I'll take a pound today even if its just cause I have a wonky scale!

Went for a 50 min leisurely walk with a friend yesterday and planted my tomato plants... good day off.

Last night all of my friends I hang out with were either busy or sick at home so I was feeling a little lonely... now usually I would feel an invisible force pulling me to the store where I would buy a bag of chocolate covered almonds.. then I would make a pot of tea and let the tea melt the chocolate in my mouth..... my substitute for company... those were the days! Last night I allowed myself to feel a little lonely then I went and rented a movie.... really wasn't that bad...

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.

R2 D25: -.4
R2 Total: -19.2

Water: 3.5 ltr

Went to my Thursday meeting last night... more comments about my loss, more clothes that I can now get into. I was listening to the speaker when I noticed I was sitting with my legs crossed very comfortably! Its been awhile. When you have big thighs it can be hard to cross your legs..... the top one just wants to fall off cause your legs are simply too big.... sometimes its the little things that keep me motivated!

No school today so I have a day off..... well, a day off from work. I must get busy finishing yard work, planting my planters, doing laundry, and tackling my messy room. It really hit a nerve when I was watching the Biggest Loser & Tara had a messy room..... I always struggle with my bedroom so I'm determined to get organized!

Where the loser saw barriers, the winner saw hurdles. ~Robert Braul

R2 D24: +.2
R2 Total: -18.8

Water: 2.5 ltr

OK, I refuse to get discouraged about my first plus. Its only .2 and I really haven't hit a stall this round besides one day staying the same. My body will let go of the weight when its ready.... just have to get my mind on the right attitude and things will drop again... I refuse to get discouraged, I refuse to get discouraged....

Montana girl was talking about getting too caught up in our goals yesterday.... getting disappointed if we don't quite make "the number" when we should be proud of our accomplishments.... I totally agree with her & I promise not to get disappointed no matter what my LIW is this round, but her blog got me thinking about all the numbers bouncing around my head all day, every day....

45.6: when I lose 45.6 pounds I will be half way to the current goal.

190: when I hit 190 I will be the same weight I was when I hiked the West Coast Trail therefore I'll feel confident doing my 80 kilometer (48 mile) hike in the rockies this summer.

50: when I hit 190 I will have lost 50 pounds!!

185: when I hit 185 I will not longer be considered obese, but just overweight.

160: I absolutely HAVE to be under 160 when I go visit old friends at the end of August.

Then there's the continuous calculating going on in my head... if I average .4 of a pound a day I'll lose this much by the end of this round. If I average .6, I'll lose that much.... on & on it goes...

I know I should really stop and just enjoy looking at the scale drop every day no matter what the number is... but I can't help myself! I think the numbers and continuous calculating is helping me stay motivated on the hard days so I will continue to allow these numbers to swim around in my mind until "the numbers" are under 150 pounds!!

“All good things come to he who waits”

R2 D23: -1
R2 Total: -19

Water: 3 ltr

I had already posted and then had to go to the bathroom... I couldn't help myself & re-weighed... my number dropped considerably so I've edited my post!! Another pound... yippeee!! Must go to work now....

Happy to report yesterday was back to normal. Not hungry... I'll have to be careful not to overdue my exercising.... I'm going to bike to work this morning, it should only take about 10 minutes but at least I'll move a little today.

Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts. ~Arnold Bennett~

R2 D21: -.4
R2 Total: -18

Water: 2.5 ltr

I have to admit, yesterday was a little harder of a day. I was up at my regular time (5:15am) but by 9am I was so tired I had to go lie down to sleep for half an hour. A friend called and wanted to go for a walk so I happily complied. It turned out to be over 40 minutes and quite a bit of hill work. I think I went too hard cause in the evening I was starving and very tired!!

I have never eaten the melba toast allowed on P2 but I was so desperate from hunger I went to the store and bought some. I ate two in a row (I know I'm supposed to eat each of them at different times but I just couldn't help myself!) I don't plan on eating them regularly but if I feel panicky again, I'll know they're there.

Today is a new day & I plan to drink my 3 liters of water

ibanezfam: thanks for your potassium suggestion. I had been wanting to get some, but didn't know it would help restless legs... good tip!

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.”

R2 D21: -.4
R2 Total: -17.6
Total Loss: -42

Water: 3.5 ltr

Three pounds till I'm half way to my goal. Things are moving along just tickity boo and I'm happy with how everything is going. Starting to get more comments about my loss and I fit into another favorite skirt yesterday.... life is good!

I've been experiencing 'restless legs' along with my teeth aching, then I realized that I haven't been taking my Cal/Mag lately. I had bought a new bottle of the liquid form but it seems to have some sugar and carbs in it so I've been avoiding it. I think I'll go to the Health Food store and get the tablets.

Instead of giving myself reasons why I can't, I give myself reasons why I can.

R2 D20: -1
R2 Total: -17.2
Total Loss: -41.6

Water: 4.5 ltrs

Wow, this is a good run! In five days I've averaged five pounds... hope this continues for awhile! Twelve days before I head home to see family.... I'd love to lose eight more pounds before then. I'll enjoy the drop while its happening.

Such a magnificent day yesterday. It was hot and sunny all day and I was able to spend a couple of hours doing yard work. I even bought some deck furniture. I was so excited about the new furniture I decided to bite the bullet and invite a friend for supper so we could enjoy the nice weather and new little table set outside. I havn't had the guts to have company over while I'm on P2 but I'm not craving or hungry at all these days so thought I could handle it. I used my handi little George Foreman grill & made us some bison burgers. Worked out pretty good, I just gave her a bun, condiments and more options for her burger... I had my plain burger with a sliced tomato. I didn't feel deprived at all... I may try to cook an actual dinner for some company if this weather continues!

After supper it felt like a waist if we didn't go for a walk. We took a friends dog for a stroll and then ended the day sitting by a fire visiting with friends.... It was a perfect end to a perfect day!

Who we are never changes. Who we think we are does.

R2 D19: -1.2
R2 Total: -16.2
Total Loss: -40.6

Water: 4 ltrs

I can sleep in on Saturdays but this morning I woke up at my usual time (5:15am) and didn't want to wait in order to see what the scale said so I got up and headed for the bathroom...... stood on the scale and there it was... staring back at me...... 199.6!!!!!!!! Whee hooo I'm officially in the one's & it is truly ONEDERFUL! Good bye two's, I do not wish to ever see you again in my lifetime. Lots of goals to hit in the next few weeks... 45 pounds loss will be half way.... 190 is the weight I have set for myself to be under in order to do my hike. So by the end of this round I will have acheived a lot of my goals. Feels good.

Soooo happy spring is finally in full swing. Went to a green house with friends to get my flowers for the year. Always a lot of fun.... means that the nice weather is here, yippeee! While there I ran into an old work collegue & she really noticed my weight loss... that felt good cause most people have been saying they can see it on my face, they never mention anything else.... I don't want them to see it on my face, I want them to see it on my huge butt!!!

Happpy Saturday everyone...

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."

R2 D17: -.8
R2 Total: -15
Total Loss: -39.4

Water: 2.5 ltrs

Have a cold/flu going on so glad it didn't effect my losses. My room mates got home last night and they've decided to keep a low profile downstairs for a week. Because they are coming back into Canada on a visitors visa they had to go through immigration in Mexico and there were a lot of people from Mexico City in the line up. So far they feel fine though. I don't mean to sound paranoid but I work for the school district and there has already been one school closure in British Columbia.

Hope I get feeling better soon cause I have been going for a few bike rides and walks and it feels great! I'm within a pound of hitting the ones (199.8) so tomorrow could be the day!!!! Most likely it will come on Sunday but I'm really looking forward to it!

And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln.

R2 D16: -1.2
R2 Total: -14.2
Total Loss: -38.6

Water: 3 ltrs

So wonderful to see a bigger loss again. I leave for the family cabin in two weeks today so I'm hoping for 10 pounds by then... maybe a little ambitious but you never know!

I've been thinking a lot about what makes us fat. For most of us its not a simple math equation where we take in more than we burn. In my case its a complicated recipe of life experiences and how I interpreted what was going on & then translated it into self worth, self esteem and self image.

My story began when I was 18 and had a big crush on a guy. I was probably around 140 at the most. Anyway, he was my grad escort and we happened to be living within a couple of hours from each other after we both moved away from home. My sisters and I went to visit him and when we arrived we soon realized he was totally in love with a 29 yr old who had a body to die for. My ego was bruised a little, but I got over it... Next crush was long distance and he dumped me for a skinny, skinny girl. Ok, now I'm not exagerating here... this happened to me over and over again.... which isn't out of the ordinary for a girl between 18 & 20 something years. The trouble was the guys always ended up with toothpick girls.... not normal shaped girls... TOOTHPICKS!!

Now that I've grown up and look back I realize the wisdom in the saying 'he's just not that into you'. Which was the case... but at the time my brain translated it into: "your too fat, he would have liked you more if you were thinner'. To top it off my best friend in my early 20's was a toothpick & grew up with 5 brothers and was totally comfortable with men. I on the other hand grew up with 4 sisters and a father who doesn't communicate much. So in the company of men, she always got more attention. (by this time my weight was creeping up to 155-160)

So there I was always feeling fat! I would love to go back and try to talk some sense into that girl. I remember good friends trying to talk to me about it but I just thought they were trying to make me feel better. Communication is only 7% verbal so every time I was in a group of people, I'd be sitting there feeling bad about myself & projecting it onto others, giving off a vibe.... of course the more I told myself I was too fat, the fatter I became!

I was just scanning some old photos of myself into the computer. There was an old picture of me with a bunch of friends when we were in New York on a road trip sometime in the early 90's.... I look awesome!! Oh what I didn't appreciate back then!

Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of other contributing factors to this lard I'm carrying around on my body, but that is a biggy and thought I'd share it cause most of us are fat for a reason... its not just cause we like food.

I'm inserting the photo but have removed my friends faces cause they don't know I write this blog!!

''self-image'' is the key to human personality and human behavior. Change the self image and you change the personality and the behavior.”

R2 D16: -.8
R2 Total: -13
Total Loss: -37.4

Water: 3.75 ltrs

Busy day today so will keep it short... Watched the biggest loser last night.... very inspiring! Can't wait to start working out after this round...... must go up a mountain in July! I had my running dream last night. I dream I'm out for a run and I can go on forever... never get tired... I love that dream. Hoping to hit ONEderland early next week... can't wait!

Anything that has real and lasting value is always a gift from within. Franz Kafka

R2 D15: -.2
R2 Total: -12.2
Total Loss: -36.6

Water: 2 ltrs

Ohhhh how I want this period to be over! Slept on the couch most of the day due to cramps and just feeling lethargic so wasn't able to get as much water in... today I'm going to focus on that. I REALLY feel the need to see something lower than .2 on the scale!

I've been trying to eat a little more variety the past few days.. tried canned crab meat on romaine lettuce, I could taste lots of salt, but not much crab flavour... ended up squeezing some lemon on it just to give it some flavour so wont be trying that again. Last night I used my George Foreman grill to make a steak (first one this round) the trouble was that is just tasted too darn good... when I finished eating it I just wanted MORE! Might be cause I had no injection yesterday, not sure... all I know is that steak tasted heavenly! I was still very hungry and I was looking longingly at the grapefruit thinking it wouldn't be so bad to eat a whole one on top of the 1/2 I had already eaten... then I remembered my rule: drink tea, milk, stevia. As usual it worked..

I haven't been eating much fish so today I'll get some halibut and I'll try to stay away from beef for a few days.

On a personal note: my Japanese room mates went on a holiday 10 days ago.... yes to Mexico... they will return at the end of the week.... makes me a little nervous.... might go stay with friends for a couple days just to make sure they're not sick!!

"It is never too late to be what we might have been." ~ George Eliot ~

R2 D14: -.2
R2 Total: -12
Total Loss: -36.4

Water: 2.5 ltrs

I can quit whining now... TOM came yesterday. So between eating canned crab that seemed to have a lot of salt and my period, I wasn't going to let myself be disappointed with a .2 loss. Things better pick up in the next couple of days though!

Decided to just skip injecting the first day of my cycle.... psychologically I feel the need to inject after that.

Went for a 25 min bike ride yesterday and had a close call. I cut through a ditch towards the trail... missed the ditch and kept going... I was very relieved nothing happened cause 6 years ago when I was losing weight and feeling fit, I wrecked my knee flying off my mountain bike.... thus gaining a lot of weight back.... I had flashes of being on crutches for 14 weeks again... not fun!! I promise to be more careful from now on.

With the small losses lately I decided to quickly check some of my measurements yesterday.... my thigh was down 2.5 inches!! Soooooo happy. Actually most things were down over 2 inches so that was a pick me up.

I always feel so nauseous when I have my period so I think it'll be a challenge to get my water in today..... I will try....

If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it. ~Mary Engelbreit

R2 D13: -.4
R2 Total: -11.8
Total Loss: -36.2

Water: 3.75 ltrs

Tired, but get up so early on weekdays my body didn't know it could sleep in today so here I am. The pot luck went well, everyone seemed to have enough to eat so I was happy about that. I only had a couple times where I forgot I was on 'the plan' for a fraction of a second and would think about tasting something, then I'd give my head a shake and remember. That being said, I didn't find it hard to be around such a feast..... so strange! I was a little worried with handling all that food... I kept getting stuff on my hands and I was concerned about the oils on my skin.

A number of people commented on my weight loss last night which was nice. No one was asking for details about my plan which is a bonus cause its hard to get into with people.

Now that I've completed that little project my attention really has to go outside in my yard. The green grass is starting to rear its little head and I haven't raked or cleaned up what winter left behind. Then there's the flowers, I must have flowers.

Trying not to be disappointed about today's loss.... I keep telling myself its a loss.... I could be stalling or gaining.... Yesterday my body was totally telling me TOM had arrived but then nothing happened... aarrgghhh!! That never happens to me. I've planned my whole back packing trip around my period and I'm scared my cycle is going to go out of whack and then I'll get it while hiking in grizzly country. That would help me sleep well!

The vision must be followed by the venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps - we must step up the stairs. ~Vance Havner

R2 D12: -1
R2 Total: -11.4
Total Loss: -35.8

Water: 3 ltrs

Aaahhhhhh how I love the days I feel absolutely no hunger! It was a good day. I even felt the urge to dig my bike out of the shed and go for a 20 min cruise around the neighborhood. I really want to start moving a little and it was great to be out in the fresh air. Not sure it had anything to do with my loss but I'm definitely going to start moving more.

Today is pot luck day so I'm pulling out the thermos again..... boy my thermos has saved me on this program! I plan to keep very busy cleaning, organizing and making coffee tonight so I don't have time to stare at the food and get any ideas. There might be some dancing so I'll do that for my exercise.

Was up with cramps last night and this morning but still no TOM. I'm going to skip my injection today instead of tomorrow, maybe its the hcg thats delaying things from moving... don't know but I just want to get this show on the road!

Have a great weekend!

They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. Andy Warhol

R2 D11: -.6
R2 Total: -10.4
Total Loss: -34.8

Water: 3.25 ltrs

My brother-in-law was in town on business so I took the oportunity to have him deliver my favorite brand of stevia.... some are so much better than others and my sister has a huge stash of the good stuff! Anyhooo he said he could really see I've dropped some pounds so that felt good. I'll be going to my family cabin for May long weekend so I'm determined to drop as much as posible till then... hopefully they'll notice the difference.

I remember reading Beth's blog and she kept commenting on clothes.... I now understand! I'm at that point where I'm putting things on and realizing they are too big.. then I try something else on to see if I've shrunk into them yet but no.. still a little tight.... never seems to end... I have a bag of clothes on the go that are too big, a bag of clothes that are slightly too small.... I was in a hurry getting ready for my meeting last night and threw a black blazor on. When I got there a friend commented that it was way too big... sure enough I was swimming in it!! Not to worry I have the identical blazor in my closet that is the next smaller size (16).

No TOM yet, but I'm still losing so I won't fret.... Wasn't hungry at all yesterday yippeee! Just hope that carries over to tomorrow's pot luck!

We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them. Albert Einstein

R2 D10: -.2
R2 Total: -9.8
Total Loss: -34.2

Water: 2.75 ltrs

Was really hungry a couple of times yesterday... it went away after supper so glad I didn't go to bed hungry.. it can be hard to sleep. I'm hoping its just pms.. I can live with the hunger for a few days... but not for another 30.

Really busy organizing a pot luck supper for 160 people... ya just what I want to do while I'm on the protocol, but an older bachelor I know just retired and is moving south. I figure if he's been in the area for 42 years he deserves a going away party. So its going to be me eating my famous tomatoe hamburger soup out of a thermos while the crowd dives into a wonderful banquet. I'm sure I'll survive.... at least I don't have to cook.... I don't know how you wives and mothers cook for your family or others????? Good on ya!!

If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it. William Arthur Ward

R2 D9: -.4
R2 Total: -9.6
Total Loss: -34

Water: 3 ltrs

TOM definately coming.... but who knows when it'll hit!! I'm just glad I haven't stalled or gained yet...

The Background
Ever find a pair of jeans that fit you just right...... oh the feeling! This is a huge challenge for me cause as I've grumbled about before.... I have huge thighs and butt.... along with that I have a fairly small stomach and waiste. When I wear normal cut jeans, the stomach is really baggy and the waiste is so huge that it has a 3 inch gape all around ... I can take my pants off without unbuttoning or zipping.... even when I'm thinner this is a constant struggle for me...

The Story
So 3.5 years ago I was losing weight and went shopping with my sister.... yes of course at a fat store. I was desperate for new jeans and imagine my delight when I found jeans that fit me perfectly! In fact I was so excited about these jeans I called my sister a few days later and got her to go back to the store and buy me the next smaller size (18's) so I could shrink into them.... my sister gives me the jeans with a card that says 'do not open this card until you get into the jeans' ya, you know where I'm going with this don't you.... needless to say I was never able to open the card cause I never shrunk into those babies!!!

So on Saturday before leaving town I was thinking about my clothes in the shed... but they are for when I hit the 180's.... then I remembered I had a bag of clothes (of who knows what) under the stairs.... I go down and start rooting around..... yep there they are... staring me in the face...... "The Jeans" As I look at them I'm sure I can hear dramatic music in the background.... I quickly remove my clothing and see if these things will fit over my hips... guess what.... They fit perfectly!!! Oh what a feeling!! So 3.5 years later I open my card and read the encouraging words from my baby sister... which was really sweet.

I hope that wasn't too long all for a stupid story about jeans, but it truly was a defining moment for me and I wanted to document it...


Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude. Thomas Jefferson

R2 D8: -.6
R2 Total: -9.2
Total Loss: -33.6

Water: 3 ltrs

Two mornings in a row I weigh... then decide I have to go to the bathroom.... afterward I reweigh and the scale goes down a smigit. (thats two days in a row I had a bm... the things that excite me these days! HA!!) Today I'm happy with a loss. I looked at the calendar and realized that TOM is due by the weekend... I'm used to getting my period to the exact day, but since starting hcg I find I'm out by a few days here and there so not exactly sure when it'll come... I'm hoping that's what's slowed things down.

I was a good girl yesterday with the exception of getting my water in a little late. Was up peeing a lot last night but slept good in between.

Wow am I noticing smells... other food smells sooooo good but I totally have the control not to eat. On the weekend I went to a major curling event (I know, my friends harass me cause I watch curling, but its a very interesting sport when you understand the game!) in a colesium where there were fries, nachos and popcorn tickling my nose all day... it all smelled so wonderful but I had absolute control.... I LOVE IT!! Last night was the ultimate test, my Japanese room mate was making desserts with melted chocolate.... (I'm a self proclaimed chocoholic.... I'm not kidding, its a real problem for me) when the chocolate didn't melt right she had a big lump of soft gooy chocolate sitting on the counter and two of my room mates were eating it in front of me.... smelled so wonderful, but I didn't really feel that tempted.... now that's what I call a miracle.... have I mentioned that I love hcg????

A dream is just a dream. A goal is a dream with a plan and a deadline. - HarveyMackay

R2 D: -0
R2 Total: -8.6
Total Loss: -33

Water: 2 ltrs

First day with no loss!! I can't say I'm shocked. When I go outside my routine, my body doesn't like it. I had a great weekend getting out of town and thought I was all prepared etc... then of course life happens.... my friends changed our place of eating for lunch and by the time I got there I realized the restaurant was a grilled cheese and burger joint... they were already half way done their meal so I made an excuse to just order tea and visit. I'm trying not to get too detailed with people about my current eating plan... first of all its too complicated to explain, and second, a lot of people get strong opinions when they don't know all the details.. By the time I was eating my little steak and asparagus at another restaurant alone it was WAY past my normal lunch hour and I was feeling quite light headed..... then cause I allowed myself to feel so hungry I didn 't leave as much of the 5 oz steak behind as I should have.

When I got home I only had 1/2 tomatoe so I tried to improvise with a few dabs of v8 juice in my soup.. (probably not a good idea)

Late in the afternoon I realized I hadn't been drinking any water so I only got 2 liters in.

Who knows what the reason is for my zero loss, probably a combination of the above. Not to fret, I'm totally back on board doing everything right today.... I'm fighting a cold.... wonder if that had anything to do with it????

It would be so much easier just to put myself in a little cocoon for 6 weeks so I could follow this protocol, but I'm a firm believer in the fact that we can't wait for 'I'll be happy when I'm skinny'... motto.. I have to learn from the process as I go along.. I'm learning!! I love this passage below, it reminds me to live in the moment and not fool myself into thinking the world will be perfect when I lose weight....

I'll be happy when... We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are. After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, when we are able to go on a nice vacation or when we retire. The truth is there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with ... and remember that time waits for no one.


So, stop waiting ...
Until your car or home is paid off.
Until you get a new car or home.
Until your kids leave the house.
Until you go back to school.
Until you finish school.
Until you lose 100 lbs.
Until you gain 10 lbs.
Until you get married.
Until you get a divorce.
Until you have kids.
Until you retire.
Until summer..
Until spring.
Until winter.
Until fall.
Until you die. There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination. So work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt, and, dance like no one's watching.

R2 D6: -1
R2 Total: -8.6
Total Loss: -33

Going to bed but thought I'd post my loss from this morning.... till tomorrow!!

"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces."

R2 D5: -1
R2 Total: -7.6
Total Loss: -32

Water: 2.5 liters

Vitamine: Cal/Mag
BM

Had a harder time getting my water in yesterday... my stomach just didn't feel great... happy I made 2.5 ltrs.

I had my first real hunger yesterday.... grrrr... tea with my 1 tablespoon of milk and stevia always helps but I loved the first four days where I had absolutely no hunger at all!! I think I was hoping to go through this round hunger free... ya ya, I knew better!!

Tonight I am going out of town & staying over with friends. I will be skipping my injection Sundays anyway so I don't have to worry about carrying around my needles. I'm going to put my supper in a thermos and eat it on the road this evening and then I'll probably eat out for lunch tomorrow so I'm already planning what to order.... hopefully the restaurant follows the directions. On Round one I only ate out once.. I was too nervous that the restaurants would mess up and send me into a stall. We'll see how it goes.

Hope you all have a great weekend and we'll probably chat Sunday night or Monday morning!

You always pass failure on the way to success.
- Mickey Rooney

R2 D4: -1.2
R2 Total: -6.6
Total Loss: -31

Water: 3 liters

Last night I had a meeting and was going to be on the stage doing a demo so into the closet I go to see what I can scrounge up..... I knew I had a straight skirt size 18 but wasn't sure I should even try yet But I decided to give it a whirl and wouldn't you know it, it fit!! Well, a little snug around my butt... (I'm a pear shape) but nothing a blazer wouldn't cover. Felt good to wear a straight skirt... its been awhile..

"There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving,
and that's your own self."

R2 D3: -2.2
R2 Total: -5.4
Total Loss: -29.8

Lunch: chicken breast & spinach
Supper: Tomatoe & Hamburger soup. Spices were dill, chillies, chilli powder, salt, pepper. dessert was grapefruit

9 pm: apple

OK, I'm going to admit it.... I'm getting a little caught up in all the blogs.... following them, writing one.... I just love reading about everyone's progress and struggles. I guess its my own little support group! Very helpful... Remember in the movie 'You've Got Mail' when Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks get so excited to see if they have e-mail??? I feel just as excited to see who has posted... how did they do??, who left me a comment??? I'll try not to get OCD about it but so far I'm loving this little world...

Another good day.... I didn't lose this much early on the first time around... but then again I was doing a few things wrong when I started...

1) I was eating a whole grapefruit instead of half.
2) I was eating meat from a whole chicken instead of just the breast
3) I was not drinking enough
4) strawberries seem to affect my losses

Now I've learned and it seems to be paying off.

Very busy week and a half in front of me but I'm going to try and get a walk in today.

"Success doesn't come to you…you go to it."

OK, I'll try not to drown you in numbers but here we go:

I actually lost 3.6 pounds today!! Whee Hooo! That is -3.2 from my preload weight and exactly the same weight as my LIW soooo I will be calculating my weight loss from my preload weight... make sense??? Hope so...

R2 D2 loss: -3.2
Total loss: -27.6


Breakfast: One liter of Yerba Mate Tea

12 pm Lunch: chicken breast seasoned with lemon, pepper & garlic with spinach

5 pm: 1/2 a grapefruit

6 pm Supper: Bison Burger & spinach (forgot to go shopping to get another vegi!)

9 pm Gala Apple

Total Water: 4 liters (That's a gallon!!)

Was thrilled that the hcg had the same effect on me again... not sure it gives me energy or just gives me initiative but I find myself getting organized!! It happened last time too!! All of a sudden I find myself cleaning, organizing etc.... I love it!

Went for a 25 minute easy walk yesterday afternoon, wanted to see what would happen. Although I felt a little tired right afterward I actually felt fine for most of the day... but got really tired after supper. I noticed that my face gets flushed sometimes after I eat. Related to my blood sugar I'm sure.

I had a great day for getting my water in. I have a job where twice a day I have over two hours where I cannot use a bathroom so I have become an expert of when I have to cut off my drinking and when I can resume..... believe me, I've had some CLOSE calls while I was perfecting this refined process!! I would elaborate but it would be TMI. All I can say is I noticed a big difference in my first round when I went from 2.5 liters to 3 or more... seemed to lose more weight.

Wow.... anyone watch the Biggest Loser???? If you did..... the poor brother who was left behind. His dad and brother made the show & have lost a TON of weight... he's still big..... he cried... I hate to watch a 17 yr old man cry... It was very emotional....

OK, before this becomes a book, I'll sign off.

Winners never quit and quitters never win.... so don't quit!!!

VLCD Day 1: -3

So I lost 3 pounds today!!! Very happy & only half a pound to go in order to reach my pre-load weight... should happen tomorrow and then I'll be on my way. Feels good to be in the routine of P2 again. As Montana girl said, on round 2 you know what did and didn't work last time. I cheated once on Round 1 but since it took me 4 days to get back to where I was... it will NOT happen this time!

I'm on a very specific schedule since I will be going on holidays at the end of August to see old friends & it would be awesome to show up skinny!!!

OK, must go do laundry and drink LOTS of water....

Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land amongst the stars..

R2 P2 D1

Total gain after Load days: 3.4 pounds
Just for reference, I will be calculating my weight loss on my pre-load weight.

Feels good to get started and I'm glad I loaded well cause I'm having no hunger today!! Yippee! Just having to break the habit of eating.... not hungry but still looked in the fridge this afternoon and then remembered... hey stop that... I'm on VLCD.

Now that my VLCD is underway and I'm no longer on holidays I may switch to blogging in the mornings.... that way I can relate my previous days behavior with the results on the scale... might help me figure out what works best for me and less confusing to read..

I have well over 2 liters of water under my belt for the day so another liter won't be too hard to get in. A person does have to be conscientious all day in order to get all that liquid in. That's not counting the liter of Yerba Mate tea I drank for breakfast...

I was able to bake half of my chicken breasts last night so tonight I will bake the other half as well as the bison meat.... should have enough meat to last over 30 days... one less thing to think about.

Toying with the idea of some 30 min walks at a leisure pace this time. Last time I only exercised a few times but I was worried about making myself more hungry... we'll see what happens.

All in all I'm just happy to be back on the program working towards my goal of being able to do the things I love without my weight getting in the way. (for example: exercise, hike, go on a beach holiday, look for a man! LOL!)

Till tomorrow morning.....

Commitment leads to action. Action brings your dream closer.

Loading day 2

It was scarry to step on the scale this morning and see such a high number.... then I had to use the toilet and decided to re-weigh.... (excuse my lack of manners in discussing this!!) glad I did.. according to my second weigh I have gained 3 pounds.... hopefully it doesn't jump too much tomorrow morning. I'm now feeling ill and I don't think I'll eat anything else tonight. I'm going to try and commit this feeling to memory so when I'm feeling hungry I can think back and remember how horrible I feel right now!

Spent today trying to get organized for the big day tomorrow. I cooked ground chicken breast, ground beef and still have ground bison and whole chicken breasts to cook and put into little baggies. Its so much easier to grab my meat out of the freezer every day, then I just have to decide on a vegi. Seems to help when I'm really hungry... don't have to wait so long for my food to be prepared!

Tomorrow is busy, I will be out of town so I will get up early and make a tomatoe hamb soup and put it into a thermos (just so you know, I'm patting myself on the back for getting organized!) Wishing you all a successful week and hopefully I'm not too hungry on my first day back on the program!

I'll end with this quote:

MOTIVATION comes from within. Federal Express does NOT deliver it. DARN IT ANYWAY! :)

Loading Day 1

It never ceases to amaze me how I just don't enjoy the load days like I envision during P2 or P3! Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the taste of the food once its in my mouth, I just don't have the cravings or hunger to motivate my eating... thanks to what Monica calls 'magic juice'... I seem to feel the HCG working in my body very quickly. One more day.... I get a little nervous eating such high fat food but know it'll help with my hunger once I begin P2 so I will endure eating my favorite foods!!!!

After looking at a photo of myself before starting my first round on this protocol, I just couldn't bring myself to do measurements (it was very scarry to look at my thighs) but today I have decided to monitor my measurements during my second round. I bravely entered WallMart and made my way over to the sewing section where I bought a tape measure. I think it'll help in my motivation half way through when my weight loss slows down a bit I'll measure myself so I can see how far I've come.

This round the big number will be 190. I was 190 pounds when I hiked the West Coast Trail which is a 75 km hike along the west side of Vancouver Island. I figure if I hiked that at 190, I'll be able to survive the 80 km hike in the rockies this summer. My actual goal is to be under 185 but anything under 190 will have me thrilled. That being said, it will also be a big moment to hit ONEDERLAND.... what a psychological boost.... to hit a number that begins with a 1 instead of a 2!!!