R2 D16: -1.2
R2 Total: -14.2
Total Loss: -38.6
Water: 3 ltrs
So wonderful to see a bigger loss again. I leave for the family cabin in two weeks today so I'm hoping for 10 pounds by then... maybe a little ambitious but you never know!
I've been thinking a lot about what makes us fat. For most of us its not a simple math equation where we take in more than we burn. In my case its a complicated recipe of life experiences and how I interpreted what was going on & then translated it into self worth, self esteem and self image.
My story began when I was 18 and had a big crush on a guy. I was probably around 140 at the most. Anyway, he was my grad escort and we happened to be living within a couple of hours from each other after we both moved away from home. My sisters and I went to visit him and when we arrived we soon realized he was totally in love with a 29 yr old who had a body to die for. My ego was bruised a little, but I got over it... Next crush was long distance and he dumped me for a skinny, skinny girl. Ok, now I'm not exagerating here... this happened to me over and over again.... which isn't out of the ordinary for a girl between 18 & 20 something years. The trouble was the guys always ended up with toothpick girls.... not normal shaped girls... TOOTHPICKS!!
Now that I've grown up and look back I realize the wisdom in the saying 'he's just not that into you'. Which was the case... but at the time my brain translated it into: "your too fat, he would have liked you more if you were thinner'. To top it off my best friend in my early 20's was a toothpick & grew up with 5 brothers and was totally comfortable with men. I on the other hand grew up with 4 sisters and a father who doesn't communicate much. So in the company of men, she always got more attention. (by this time my weight was creeping up to 155-160)
So there I was always feeling fat! I would love to go back and try to talk some sense into that girl. I remember good friends trying to talk to me about it but I just thought they were trying to make me feel better. Communication is only 7% verbal so every time I was in a group of people, I'd be sitting there feeling bad about myself & projecting it onto others, giving off a vibe.... of course the more I told myself I was too fat, the fatter I became!
I was just scanning some old photos of myself into the computer. There was an old picture of me with a bunch of friends when we were in New York on a road trip sometime in the early 90's.... I look awesome!! Oh what I didn't appreciate back then!
Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of other contributing factors to this lard I'm carrying around on my body, but that is a biggy and thought I'd share it cause most of us are fat for a reason... its not just cause we like food.
I'm inserting the photo but have removed my friends faces cause they don't know I write this blog!!
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