Today's Loss: -.4

R2 Total: -28.2

Very happy I woke up to my period today.. and still lost! I get a little nervous every time TOM comes a little late cause I timed my hike so I wouldn't have it... every time its late it gets a little closer to my hiking date.... Just one more period till then and I think I have a few days leeway next month.. one more thing I don't have to worry about.

I decided to fill all my syringes today so I know exactly how many more days I'll be on P2. It should work out well cause I have 5 left which means if I skip today (my regular skip day) and tomorrow cause of my period, my LIW will come on Friday which should give me 4 days of bigger losses before I stop. Then I'll be hitting major workout mode trying to get in shape for the mountains.... Wow, in just over a month I'll be walking through the majestic rockies meditating on how thankful I am for hcg and being able to hike again!

One last thought... when your fat, your invisible... not just with men, but people in general don't notice you.... Although I've been suspicious the past little while that I've had the odd glance from the odd man... this week I had two guys obviously check me out... it was almost a little unnerving. Then my negative thinking gets in the way... one occasion I was driving and the first thing through my mind was 'oh ya, but he doesn't see my bottom half!' So instead of smiling and saying to myself 'Damn your good', I automatically put myself down... must work on that! I also seem to be getting more social invites which is nice but kind of annoying at the same time... I think, what... wasn't I good enough before??? Of course that may not be entirely about my appearance either... maybe I'm a more positive person since I've been losing weight so people feel more inclined to hang out with me.... anyway just wanted to put that out there... been on my mind for awhile...

There are two ways of meeting difficulties. You alter the difficulties or you alter yourself to meet them. Phyllis Bottome

Today's Loss: -.8

R2 Total: -27.8

Been a crazy day, but wanted to post my loss....  see tomorrow!

Today's loss: -.6
R2 Total: -27

My body seems to be happy with .6's these days... wish TOM would come!!! Here is a photo of my 50 pound present to myself! I love shoes.... I went to the shoe store determined to get something I wanted... not something I needed... I saw these and we fell in love... aren't they purrrdy???

* I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him alot. Marilyn Monroe

Today's loss: -.6
R2 Total: -26.4

Hit the 180's today! 189.4... good bye 90's... can't say I'll miss you!

Thanks so much Brooke for suggesting I reward myself for reaching that milestone... hadn't thought to do that! It was a bit of a quandry since so many rewards are illegal on P2 like massage, manicure, food... I had decided to go get roller blades, then someone suggested on the hcg forum that I buy some shoes... I LOVE shoes! I'm thinking about getting some nice spikey heels... maybe I'll get both the roller blades & the shoes... I'm working on thinking that I'm worth it!!

I also put on more makeup than I really should on P2, curled my hair perty & visited a couple of offices I used to work at.. one office is awesome with people I love.. the other office... well lets just say they aren't the nicest people except for one friend I made while I worked there. Both visits were a fun reward for totally different reasons.. The first was great with everyone telling me how awesome I look (yes, I soaked it up!) The second, I felt a vindication to go back almost a year after leaving knowing how much better I look . Leaving such a stressful work environment was one of the reasons I felt ready to take this weight off... not only did I put weight on working there, but I just couldn't concentrate on myself cause I was so consumed with work. I have to admit my heart was racing as I climbed the stairs to the bad office... it was shocking how all those horrible feelings came racing back to me and I realized how greatful I am that I left such a negative place.

When I got home I did something I haven't done in months... I went straight to the fridge and opened it to look in... I couldn't believe I did it! My knee jerk reaction to a stressful situation... no I didn't eat anything but it sure drove home the point of how many things we do on an emotional level that we don't even notice unless of course you on hcg and can't eat through your feelings.

By seeking out vegetables of varying colors (BEST CHOICE: tomatoes), you'll automatically get a range of phytonutrients, each of which has its own particular health promoting strengths. These colorful plant foods also happen to be incredible sources of soluble and insoluble fiber - both essential for hormone balance and impossible to get from animal products. - Master Your Metabolism, Jillian Michaels

Today's loss: -.6
R2 Total: -25.8
Total Loss: 50.2!!!!

Wow, I'm so happy!!!! I'm now exactly at 190.0 and officially at my hiking goal. Life is good, I just wish I would have listened to my sister Lana sooner and started hcg last year..... but hey, I'm on my way. Next stop is the 180's.... yipppeee!

My friend Mandy called to go for a walk and it was such a sunny day I thought it was a great idea... she knows I'm still on P2 so she tried not to go too hard on my so that was nice. She lives in a the middle of a huge hill & I did have to push it a little bit. Man, did I ever get tired last night.... had to take a nap around 6:30pm, must have been the walk. I'm sooo looking forward to P3 where I'll have the energy to start training for my hike. I love exercise & love pushing myself so we'll see what kind of shape I can get in within 4 weeks. (from the time I end P2 till my hike)

Down to around 13 days left on P2 depending on when I get my period. I always lose bigger numbers for about 5 days after TOM says good bye so I'm hoping to stretch things out a bit & stay on hcg till the 'pound a day' numbers stop. If my period comes on schedule that is.


Left my book on my bus so will have to stick with inspirational quotes this morning.

Life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.- John Maxwell

Today's loss: -.4
R2 Total: -25.2

Yesterday I realized that I could probably squeeze back into my super duper sucker shorts.... these things REALLY suck me in but would have cut the circulation off at my thighs if I tried them on any earlier.... yes, I was able to squirm into them and wear them to my Sunday meeting. Instead of trying to cover myself up with a blazer as usual, I decided to just wear a top with my skirt.... first time in YEARS that has happened.... I received a lot of comments on my weight loss so that was nice... I love those shorts!

Also had that hcg sudden burst of energy (or it could be that sudden burst of energy I get just before my period???) and I attacked my bedroom with a vengeance. I kept thinking of the Biggest Loser and how it showed Tara's feelings about herself reflected in her bedroom. I'm wondering if this is a sign I'm liking myself more these days??? hmmmm something to ponder.

I'm looking after a friend's house right now & they stock the house with the most amazing food!! I have chosen not to stay there just in case I have a weak moment. I can't help myself from going in the fridge and freezer just to look at the cheese, wine, sausage, pop and many, many other yummy snacks full of chemicals I can't pronounce let alone spell.... those were the days!! (I think I've said that before????)

Lisa: Stick to your guns on maintenance.... you can do it!!!!

I thought this was good advise for Phase 4... those lovely starches:

Aim for less than two servings of starchy vegetables a day. If you're going to have them, try interesting types like parsnips, a proven cancer fighter, or beets, full of folate to help lower levels of heart-attack-inducing homocysteine in the blood. I'm also a fan of sweet potatoes, packed with free radical-fighting beta-carotene and vitamine C. Anything but the usual suspects of corn, peas, and potatoes - God knows you don't need more corn!-Jillian Michaels, Master your Metabolism

Today's loss: -.2
R2 Total: -24.8

I guess I'll just have to get used to the miniscule losses till TOM comes & goes. Which means I can't have any expectations for at least a week or so arrrhhhhgggg!! My yard is waiting for me to give it some TLC so since I don't have anything too exciting to say I'll end with a quote from Jillian's book:

After age 20, basal metabolic rate drops about 2% per decade; after 40, it slows down 5% per decade.- Master Your Metabolism, Jillian Michaels

Today's loss: -.6
R2 Total: -24.6

Some friends were camping close to town last night so I went out to sit around the fire.... if course with a fire comes hot dogs, marshmellows, tacos and salsa.... it all smelled sooooo good... glad I was in a strong mood cause I absolutely knew I wouldn't cave... I'm patting myself on the back!!

One pound to the big 50.. can't wait!

"The U.S. production of high-fructose corn syrup (HFCS) went from 3,000 tons in 1967 to 9,227,000 tons in 2005. Production has increased 350% since 1980 alone. While our average consumption of refined sugar has slowly dwindled in the past forty years, our consumption of HFCS has shot up almost twenty fold. Tufts University researchers reported that Americans consume more calories from HFCS than from any other source"- Master Your Metabolism

I forgot to add this to today's post:

40lbs40days & ibanezfam: Thanks so much for the comments! By the way, I'm a photographer (promature) so I know all the little tricks to make me look thinner... I'm also a bottom heavy gal & my top doesn't look half bad these days! Great to hear from you!

Today's loss: -.2
R2 Total: -24

I shouldn't see TOM till next week but considering I was feeling sorry for myself and emotional all morning along with the fact that I seem to be drinking more than peeing.... PMS has begun! Bring it on... I promise myself that I will not worry about what the scale says till after my period...

People who report job stress have a 73% higher chance of developing obesity and a 61% higher chance of developing abdominal fat than people who report none.-Master Your Metabolism

Today's loss: -.8
R2 Total: -23.8


Yesterday after my shower I realized there were no huge bath sheets for towels in the closet so I had to settle for a regular towel (still large but not HUGE!!) anyhow.. after wrapping it around myself I realized that it covered my entire body... wow... pre hcg there was no way I could leave the bathroom with that little thing trying to squeezed around my body, there was always a huge V at the bottom revealing who knows what.... felt good to have that towel on!

I also finally took a photo of myself so you all could see who you are reading about... I'm getting over my online shyness these days. My face looked so much thinner.. that felt good too! Keep in mind I'm still on P2, therefore, I don't have makeup on...

I did go buy Jillian Michaels new book 'Master Your Metabolism'.... so far I'm just LOVING IT!! Although I'm sure she wouldn't agree with the hcg diet, there is so much information about all the horrible chemicals, stress & lack of sleep that have an adverse affect on all our hormones.... like gaining weight..... she went from eating 1200 calories a day, drinking 6 diet coke a day, and working out like a mad woman to eating 1800 calories a day and working out a lot less... and still maintaining her awesome body! I'm going to substitute my inspirational quotes for interesting little facts that she writes along the margins... I found them very interesting, thought you might too.

For each can of diet soft drink consumed each day, a person's risk of obesity goes up 41 percent.

Today's loss: -1
R2 Total: -23
Total Loss: 47.4

I was surprised with today's loss, I thought I might have had too much salt yesterday.... I'll take it! TOM will be here in a week so I'm happy for the bigger losses right now.

When I was at the cabin, my sister brought out the new Jillian Michaels book. I was able to read the first fifty pages or so.... I loved it! Its all about hormones and how our diet & environment affects them and when your hormones are out of whack, they encourage weight gain... lots about your thyroid and estrogen... I've already been trying to eat a lot more organic and stay away from as much plastic as possible so it was very interesting to read. I'm hoping to go find it today at a book store so I can come up with a good long term plan to be as healthy as possible once I start maintenance and I've rid myself of this 'snow suit' sitting on my body!

Have a good one people!

Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be - George Sheehan

Today's loss: -.4
Loss over the long weekend: -3.8
R2 Total: -22
Total Loss: 46.4

Over half way to my current goal and things are looking good!

My weekend was wonderful! Sooooo relaxing.... the weather wasn't ideal with only one nice day but on the days it was cold and rainy I curled up by the stove and read a book, had a nap and played cards with my nieces. I think all the relaxing and sleeping paid off cause I lost 1.8 pounds yesterday!! Never happens to me so I was thankful for that.

I had absolutely no problems sticking to 'the plan'... my mom is currently on P2 and is struggling a little so I think she enjoyed having some moral support while we watched my dad cook bacon, eggs and pancakes for breakfast over the fire.

I hadn't seen my two cousins since they have lost over 70 pounds each on hcg... wow they look wonderful!! I was nice to see where I'm headed and how it truly is possible!!!

By the way.... I only saw one small grizzly bear so didn't feel too sorry for myself for not having my camera...

When you say "I can", and expect success, you fill yourself with confidence and happiness.

Well the scale started down again... -1.2 this morning... hopefully by next week I'll be back to where I started and down again...

My car is packed, including George F. who has become my best friend these days. I was pre-cooking my food till I discovered how fast George could cook my meat... I love George.. Looking forward to a relaxing weekend of reading, fishing, walking, and visiting.... I may have to watch a movie if the weather turns bad... yeee hawwww I feel the need to get some R&R. A little bummed that I sent my camera away for servicing the beginning of April and its still not back.... I usually see lots of bears on my drive (7.5 hours) so it'll be a bummer that I can't stop and take pictures....

Happy losing everyone... chat with ya next week!!

I drank a lot yesterday but didn't have to get up in the night to use the bathroom so I wasn't shocked that I gained another .8 even though I stuck to my plan perfectly... I'm sure its just water and I understand that I'm paying the consequences for my bad behaviour.... I know it'll probably take 4 days to get back to where I started.... I'm hoping its no more than four days....

I'm leaving early for my long weekend. I'll be taking off tomorrow morning and won't be near the internet until Monday night. My mom is on hcg right now so it shouldn't be too hard to be a good girl. After my 'cheat day' I have absolutely no thoughts of straying this weekend. Getting to 190 this round is not an option..... I have to get there in order to do my hike so its nose to the grind stone time!

Was good to watch the Biggest Loser last night.... very motivating! Everyone looked so awesome...

“Anytime you suffer a setback or disappointment, put your head down and plow ahead.”

I've had a very busy couple of days so thought I'd write a quick note and let you know I fell off the wagon for one day. I had exercised quite a bit the night before (Sunday night) and I think I overdid it. On top of it I had forgotten that I had an out of town field trip scheduled for Monday. When I realized on Monday morning that I had to leave town, I quickly packed a good and legal lunch.. very proud of myself. I was in a bus filled with grade seven students and realized I couldn't use the bathroom for at least two hours so I didn't drink a drop... mistake #2...

So after I dropped the kids off at their camp I headed back to town... then it hit me... wasn't exactly hunger.... just an incredible yearning.... so yes I caved.... once I ate one thing that I shouldn't... I just couldn't stop! It was horrible....

This morning I gained 2 pounds... I've been an angel ever since and no intentions of cheating again...

I can't say I'm feeling any guilt... this may sound weird but I just feel OK thats over... moving on.. I'm not going to stress about it.. we'll see what tomorrow brings... I feel that I'd just be wasting my energy beating myself up about it... I need to build myself up to convince myself I can do this.. not tear myself down!! So thats how I'm going to view this situation....

I promised myself that if I write this blog I had to write and admit everything.... so there it is... we'll see what tomorrow brings.

R2 D26: -.2
R2 Total: -20.4

Water: 2 ltr

I'll take the point two... the scale was acting funny again and I didn't drink as much as I should have so we'll see what happens when I have to weigh at 5:30 tomorrow (the scale read more at 5:30 again this morning)

I'm working all day today and I'm not sure I'll be by a bathroom much so my water will be a challenge.... I promise to getter done though!

I was out with a friend last night and when I got home I looked at my license plate and realized that my insurance expired two days ago!! oooops!! Not a problem... good excuse for me to bike to work for the next two days!

TTFN

It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not. ~Author Unknown

R2 D26: -1
R2 Total: -20.2

Water: 3.25 ltr

My scale is so strange. I woke up at 5:30am and had to go to the bathroom. While I was up I decided to weigh myself... only down .2 from yesterday... it was a little depressing. I went back to bed cause its Saturday and slept a little more. After I woke up I did a little house work and didn't get around to drinking anything so by 8:30 when I decided to have my shower I figured I would try weighing again.... now I'm down a whole pound! Don't know how it happened, but I'll take it... of course the scale may not be so kind tomorrow but I'll take a pound today even if its just cause I have a wonky scale!

Went for a 50 min leisurely walk with a friend yesterday and planted my tomato plants... good day off.

Last night all of my friends I hang out with were either busy or sick at home so I was feeling a little lonely... now usually I would feel an invisible force pulling me to the store where I would buy a bag of chocolate covered almonds.. then I would make a pot of tea and let the tea melt the chocolate in my mouth..... my substitute for company... those were the days! Last night I allowed myself to feel a little lonely then I went and rented a movie.... really wasn't that bad...

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.

R2 D25: -.4
R2 Total: -19.2

Water: 3.5 ltr

Went to my Thursday meeting last night... more comments about my loss, more clothes that I can now get into. I was listening to the speaker when I noticed I was sitting with my legs crossed very comfortably! Its been awhile. When you have big thighs it can be hard to cross your legs..... the top one just wants to fall off cause your legs are simply too big.... sometimes its the little things that keep me motivated!

No school today so I have a day off..... well, a day off from work. I must get busy finishing yard work, planting my planters, doing laundry, and tackling my messy room. It really hit a nerve when I was watching the Biggest Loser & Tara had a messy room..... I always struggle with my bedroom so I'm determined to get organized!

Where the loser saw barriers, the winner saw hurdles. ~Robert Braul

R2 D24: +.2
R2 Total: -18.8

Water: 2.5 ltr

OK, I refuse to get discouraged about my first plus. Its only .2 and I really haven't hit a stall this round besides one day staying the same. My body will let go of the weight when its ready.... just have to get my mind on the right attitude and things will drop again... I refuse to get discouraged, I refuse to get discouraged....

Montana girl was talking about getting too caught up in our goals yesterday.... getting disappointed if we don't quite make "the number" when we should be proud of our accomplishments.... I totally agree with her & I promise not to get disappointed no matter what my LIW is this round, but her blog got me thinking about all the numbers bouncing around my head all day, every day....

45.6: when I lose 45.6 pounds I will be half way to the current goal.

190: when I hit 190 I will be the same weight I was when I hiked the West Coast Trail therefore I'll feel confident doing my 80 kilometer (48 mile) hike in the rockies this summer.

50: when I hit 190 I will have lost 50 pounds!!

185: when I hit 185 I will not longer be considered obese, but just overweight.

160: I absolutely HAVE to be under 160 when I go visit old friends at the end of August.

Then there's the continuous calculating going on in my head... if I average .4 of a pound a day I'll lose this much by the end of this round. If I average .6, I'll lose that much.... on & on it goes...

I know I should really stop and just enjoy looking at the scale drop every day no matter what the number is... but I can't help myself! I think the numbers and continuous calculating is helping me stay motivated on the hard days so I will continue to allow these numbers to swim around in my mind until "the numbers" are under 150 pounds!!

“All good things come to he who waits”

R2 D23: -1
R2 Total: -19

Water: 3 ltr

I had already posted and then had to go to the bathroom... I couldn't help myself & re-weighed... my number dropped considerably so I've edited my post!! Another pound... yippeee!! Must go to work now....

Happy to report yesterday was back to normal. Not hungry... I'll have to be careful not to overdue my exercising.... I'm going to bike to work this morning, it should only take about 10 minutes but at least I'll move a little today.

Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts. ~Arnold Bennett~

R2 D21: -.4
R2 Total: -18

Water: 2.5 ltr

I have to admit, yesterday was a little harder of a day. I was up at my regular time (5:15am) but by 9am I was so tired I had to go lie down to sleep for half an hour. A friend called and wanted to go for a walk so I happily complied. It turned out to be over 40 minutes and quite a bit of hill work. I think I went too hard cause in the evening I was starving and very tired!!

I have never eaten the melba toast allowed on P2 but I was so desperate from hunger I went to the store and bought some. I ate two in a row (I know I'm supposed to eat each of them at different times but I just couldn't help myself!) I don't plan on eating them regularly but if I feel panicky again, I'll know they're there.

Today is a new day & I plan to drink my 3 liters of water

ibanezfam: thanks for your potassium suggestion. I had been wanting to get some, but didn't know it would help restless legs... good tip!

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.”

R2 D21: -.4
R2 Total: -17.6
Total Loss: -42

Water: 3.5 ltr

Three pounds till I'm half way to my goal. Things are moving along just tickity boo and I'm happy with how everything is going. Starting to get more comments about my loss and I fit into another favorite skirt yesterday.... life is good!

I've been experiencing 'restless legs' along with my teeth aching, then I realized that I haven't been taking my Cal/Mag lately. I had bought a new bottle of the liquid form but it seems to have some sugar and carbs in it so I've been avoiding it. I think I'll go to the Health Food store and get the tablets.

Instead of giving myself reasons why I can't, I give myself reasons why I can.

R2 D20: -1
R2 Total: -17.2
Total Loss: -41.6

Water: 4.5 ltrs

Wow, this is a good run! In five days I've averaged five pounds... hope this continues for awhile! Twelve days before I head home to see family.... I'd love to lose eight more pounds before then. I'll enjoy the drop while its happening.

Such a magnificent day yesterday. It was hot and sunny all day and I was able to spend a couple of hours doing yard work. I even bought some deck furniture. I was so excited about the new furniture I decided to bite the bullet and invite a friend for supper so we could enjoy the nice weather and new little table set outside. I havn't had the guts to have company over while I'm on P2 but I'm not craving or hungry at all these days so thought I could handle it. I used my handi little George Foreman grill & made us some bison burgers. Worked out pretty good, I just gave her a bun, condiments and more options for her burger... I had my plain burger with a sliced tomato. I didn't feel deprived at all... I may try to cook an actual dinner for some company if this weather continues!

After supper it felt like a waist if we didn't go for a walk. We took a friends dog for a stroll and then ended the day sitting by a fire visiting with friends.... It was a perfect end to a perfect day!

Who we are never changes. Who we think we are does.

R2 D19: -1.2
R2 Total: -16.2
Total Loss: -40.6

Water: 4 ltrs

I can sleep in on Saturdays but this morning I woke up at my usual time (5:15am) and didn't want to wait in order to see what the scale said so I got up and headed for the bathroom...... stood on the scale and there it was... staring back at me...... 199.6!!!!!!!! Whee hooo I'm officially in the one's & it is truly ONEDERFUL! Good bye two's, I do not wish to ever see you again in my lifetime. Lots of goals to hit in the next few weeks... 45 pounds loss will be half way.... 190 is the weight I have set for myself to be under in order to do my hike. So by the end of this round I will have acheived a lot of my goals. Feels good.

Soooo happy spring is finally in full swing. Went to a green house with friends to get my flowers for the year. Always a lot of fun.... means that the nice weather is here, yippeee! While there I ran into an old work collegue & she really noticed my weight loss... that felt good cause most people have been saying they can see it on my face, they never mention anything else.... I don't want them to see it on my face, I want them to see it on my huge butt!!!

Happpy Saturday everyone...

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."

R2 D17: -.8
R2 Total: -15
Total Loss: -39.4

Water: 2.5 ltrs

Have a cold/flu going on so glad it didn't effect my losses. My room mates got home last night and they've decided to keep a low profile downstairs for a week. Because they are coming back into Canada on a visitors visa they had to go through immigration in Mexico and there were a lot of people from Mexico City in the line up. So far they feel fine though. I don't mean to sound paranoid but I work for the school district and there has already been one school closure in British Columbia.

Hope I get feeling better soon cause I have been going for a few bike rides and walks and it feels great! I'm within a pound of hitting the ones (199.8) so tomorrow could be the day!!!! Most likely it will come on Sunday but I'm really looking forward to it!

And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln.